Are We Doing Enough as a Homeschool Parent?

Are we doing enough as a homeschool parent? I often come across this question in my work at Enkindle Academy. Plagued by uncertainty, some homeschooling parents wonder if their child will be ready to go into the “real” world in ways commensurate with their peers. They wonder if they’re doing enough to prepare their children. Yet, what is “enough,” anyway? Do our children need to be reading by kindergarten? Understanding magnetism by grade 3? Thinking algebraically by 5th grade? These are common core standards, indeed (according to a website called Generation Genius. Yeah, I’m sure these standards will produce geniuses…).

Sarcasm aside, when we ask, ourselves, “Are we doing enough as a homeschool parent?” the first most important answer is, “Are our students enlivened?” Literally, do our children appear more alive by what we have them do? Just watch their cheeks – are they becoming rosier or whiter? Their blood circulation and breathing will tell you how you’re doing. You can really see these things! Their willingness to engage determines the answer to “enough,” not the agendas of pedantic government bureaucrats who couldn’t care less about your child but are yet making educational policy.

You want your child growing up healthy and enthusiastic about life and learning. That’s more important than meeting benchmarks – even Waldorf ones. Your children will be best prepared for life by learning how to learn because most of what they will need to know to meet their destiny they will teach themselves. It’s true. Just examine your own life for confirmation of that fact. If we have managed to raise our children without beating the love of learning out of them, they will arrive at the starting line of adulthood far ahead of most of their peers, even if they haven’t yet mastered calculus.

But, What About Standards?

Who made the standards? God? Nah. Lesser minds did. Let’s remember that public education in America (and most other places) was not designed by people with a penetrating insight into the human being and the mission to lead young ones wholly into themselves. Most educational policy makers these days work atheistically. I mean that they aren’t thinking of a divine archetype to lead a child into when they set their standards. Today’s standards generally serve the god of the modern age – materialistic science and production efficiency. Even those of parochial schools generally follow the mainstream because the religious have too often lost the intuitive origins of their faiths. In other words, they don’t understand human beings much better than those who explicitly deny a non-physical reality to the world.

Hardly have I come across a set of standards that jumped out to me as being for the human being his/herself. The original Waldorf curriculum was an exception to that. As a teacher with over 20 years working with children and youth, most of what passes for standards these days is arbitrary at best. If the developing child is a melody, most modern, mainstream academic standards are like atonal, discordant notes played over top. It’s deadening, not enlivening, in my pedagogical opinion. Is it any wonder we are witnessing a meaning crisis in our age? Consider that when you worry, “Are we doing enough as a homeschool parent?”

Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t have any standards or benchmarks at all. They have their place, which I’ll get to in a moment. However, when asking ourselves truly, “Are we doing enough as a homeschool parent?” let’s start with the ultimate standard: child development. Nature, herself, is the actual measuring stick.

Child Development

In the threefold human being, the will develops primarily between ages 0-7 and the thinking between 14-21. Ages 7-14 are primarily about the development of the feeling forces – the heart, in other words. Most homeschooled children I work with fall into this middle range. You can even observe these stages in their physiological development. 5th graders, for example, still have these rather elongated and protruding trunks in comparison to young children who have comparatively large heads and high schoolers who have gangly limbs.

Now, stop reading and think for a moment what’s so important about a heart-education.

The heart is the center of our life force and motivation as a human being. Our wellness flows first from this organ. A healthy feeling life strongly influences our physical health. Our heart center also tells us what is beautiful and ugly, not just aesthetically but morally as well. In this middle stage of development, what matters most, therefore, is that children are filled with love and life – enthusiasm for what they’re doing, in other words. This is the time to educate their feelings, more than anything else. For that reason, I’m not big on standards as measuring sticks, although they can be useful as guidelines for what to teach when (for a Waldorf set of guidelines, see Rawson book, The Tasks and Content of the Steiner-Waldorf Curriculum).

Standards as Guidelines

That being said, here are some indications I would suggest:

• Math – by all means, have your children memorize math facts and times tables definitely before middle school, ideally by 4th or even 3rd grade because it’s the basis for all higher math. If they’re still trying to figure out that 7 x 8 = 56 in 6th grade, for example, Business Math is going to be quite challenging. If they haven’t gotten there yet, they need daily practice. In general, they need daily mental math practice as well. These things build the math muscle. See last week’s post on How to Teach Math for more suggestions.
• Science – wait until middle school to start hard sciences like physics and chemistry. Before then, do living sciences like zoology and botany, and even then, do them artistically and experientially. They should be drawing and sculpting animals, for example, not dissecting them. Not yet.
• Reading and writing – generally, we put way too much emphasis way too early on this. I would start no earlier than first grade. Then, start with writing as an artistic activity, and let reading emerge organically over time. I’ve seen children who don’t read until 5th or 6th grade even finally get it and read so much more deeply than their peers. If we do too much too early, their learning becomes shallow and materialistic. It doesn’t penetrate their inner being. I’ve seen it.
• Grammar – this is important, but not as a dry, rote topic. It should be enlivened and fun. For example, when teaching parts of speech, forbid your children from using verbs for an hour or two. It’s hysterical, and it also develops the capacity to think about thinking (which is what grammar really accomplishes) in a backdoor, healthy kind of way.
• History – there’s far too much controversy about what history to teach these days. History also loses a lot of students, but the name says it all – “story.” If you tell history as a story, they’ll be totally into it. Just be honest in the telling, and don’t get political about it.

What Matters Most

One of the most imaginative writers I’ve ever seen takes our Creative Writing Class. Yet, despite that incredible capacity (or perhaps because of it), at age 12 he still makes lots of spelling errors. These two phenomena are connected. This boy hasn’t been force-fed academics, but his imagination has been given time to run. When we intellectualize them too much too young, those foundational years of imaginative development are harder to recoup later on. I would rather have an unschooled child engaged in highly enthusiastic, creative, hands-on play for 12 years than one drilled constantly with academic exercises.

More Considerations On, “Are We Doing Enough As A Homeschool Parent?”

I’m not necessarily advocating unschooling. Academics have a place. Truly, the world is the most marvelous work of art there ever was, and it is an honor and a privilege that I get to reveal that to young minds. However, when asking if we’re doing enough as homeschool parents, let pay attention to the whole picture.

To begin with, make sure their whole being is engaged. Start with hands and feet. They should be moving daily – climbing, skiing, swimming, bike riding, that sort of thing. They should also be working creatively with their fingers – playing instruments, doing art, making sculpture, knitting, etc. Next, move to the heart – they should love what they are doing, or at least find the beauty and value in it. Even if math is hard in your household, bring some rhythm or music into it, create mock businesses (or have them help with a real business), create some geometric land art on your property, etc. We can find wonder to be found in literally every subject (which is why I feel the Waldorf curriculum should not be a pick-and-choose curriculum, by the way). That being said, sometimes it may feel like pulling teeth like when your daughter doesn’t want to do another page of fractions, even though she really needs to. That’s ok. Grunt work is part of the deal, it just shouldn’t dominate your day.

When it comes to thinking, you don’t have to do much. Humans are born free in our thinking. It’s better to get them moving, tell them stories, make lots of art, garden, knit, play music, etc. early on than give them logic exercises, for example. That can come later. Give them age-appropriate opportunities to learn and their thinking will come online in its own time. Don’t force it – you could actually make them ill that way.

Decide For Yourself Whether You’re Doing Enough

As a homeschooler, you get to decide the definition of “enough,” not a government bureaucrat nor even a Waldorf teacher whose road to hell may be paved with good intentions (true story – I’ve seen it several times). In that process, I recommend educating your own pedagogical instinct deeply on your child’s development. Then, you will worry less, “Are we doing enough as a homeschool parent?”

That doesn’t happen overnight, however, and it can be challenging to know where to start. That’s why we’ve been considering offering parent education. This could take the form of live parent training groups, individual mentoring, short blocks on how to teach various subjects like math, history, language arts, etc. It could also take the form of families submitting student work for feedback on how their student is doing. We are open to whatever other suggestions you have. If this interests you as a homeschool parent, please Contact Us, and let us know your wishes. We are actively forming possibilities at present for parent education, so let us know if you want to be a part of it. Thank you!

How We Can Help

Enkindle Academy offers prerecorded and live lessons for students in grades 5-9. We teach all academic subjects plus fine arts, creative writing and language arts, and empowerment groups for teens.

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